I met up with a friend I haven’t seen for nearly a year yesterday, and we had a fabulous catch-up. We have to meet up half way
between each of our homes, because she doesn’t live locally, so when we get together we are in for a long day.
She is one of those friends who although we don’t see each other regularly, we pick up exactly where we left off last time.
We are both introverts, and we chatted about this and the difference between us as individuals with other people in our lives. For example, we both have friends who love a party, love being surrounded by
others, going away together, going out together, and we both have friends who are always organising these kind of get-togethers. As introverts this isn’t naturally what we are drawn to. We like one-to-ones, meeting with individual friends, sharing a cuppa, sharing what’s been happening. Sometimes, if and when we are included in these groups, it can feel quite uncomfortable and can raise anxiety levels which we both recognised and understood.
However, we went on to discuss if this meant that we were missing out on life. Because we are naturally drawn to individual get-togethers, enjoying being on our own, having quiet times, are we missing out on bigger things, are we missing out on fun, or excitement?
I think it's always a tricky thing, and I know that those people who love being surrounded by others find it difficult to understand that actually this is not for everyone. It’s also important to think about
what brings fun into an introvert’s life. My friend said that after a busy day at work, she likes nothing better than to sit with her dog by her side, a cup of tea and a book, before her family get home. She works in the NHS, giving to others, caring for others, so peaceful times, quiet time, time alone gives her energy, and joy. And while this may not sound exciting to some, it is exciting to look forward to that time when you are constantly spending your days giving. It can become a luxury to
be on your own, enjoying your own company, with your own thoughts.
What we both thought was that sometimes we do push ourselves out of our comfort zone and be with the group, but also that if we feel
that we don’t want to do something or be part of something, that this is ok too, and should also be recognised and accepted without judgement. It's not that we are missing out on life, we just enjoy a different kind of life.
So whether you enjoy being with others, or whether you enjoy being with yourself, it's all ok, and it doesn’t mean that anyone is missing out on any part of life, it simply means we manoeuvre our lives in order to find what makes us happy and content.
Whatever you are doing this weekend, whether it is spending time with family and friends or whether you are at home pottering and relaxing, remember that it's right for you.
With love
Jane xx
