Have you ever noticed how your brain can take a tiny piece of information and turn it into a full-blown drama?
Someone could say Can we have a quick chat later? and suddenly you’ve mentally packed your bags, resigned to the fact that you are going to be told off. Basically you quickly think it’s all going wrong and everything is falling
apart.
Or you’re going on holiday and instead of picturing sunshine and relaxation, your mind is busy planning lost luggage, missed flights, and a mysterious illness that only appears abroad.
It’s quite impressive, really — if only we could channel that level of creativity elsewhere. Does this ring any bells with you? It’s often called catastrophising when the mind just runs ahead without any substance or even reality and jumps straight to
the worst possible outcome.
This is something that I do, and it’s something that I chat about with my Mindset Coach and we discuss strategies to help with this kind of thought process.
The reasons we do this isn’t because anything is wrong with us, it’s the brain trying to protect us. Our minds are programmed to scan for potential threats, to ask what if? so we can be prepared. However, the problem occurs when the mind doesn’t know when to stop.
Instead of a gentle check-in, it’s a chain of worst-case scenarios, most of which never happen.
Unfortunately when we get caught in this loop it can feel very real and you might even start to get physical symptoms. I know, this is what happens to me. So it can feel like:
- a knot in your stomach
- tight shoulders or chest
- restless thoughts that keep looping
- difficulty relaxing and sleeping
- a sense of dread about something that
hasn’t even happened.
The body responds as if the imagined situation is already real and that becomes exhausting.
It becomes a what if spiral, starting small — what if this goes wrong? — and then it quickly grows to feeling I won’t be able to cope, it will all fall apart, and something terrible will happen and before we know it, we are living in a future that doesn’t even exist.
Often catastrophising comes from
caring. We imagine the worst-case scenarios because something matters to us. But constantly rehearsing things going wrong doesn’t protect us, it just drains us, because most of the time we are more capable than our thoughts give us credit for.
Here’s some ideas for a gentle way back when we feel ourselves heading into the what if spiral. We can’t always stop the first thought, but let’s look at ways of changing what we do next:
- notice what is
happening — I’m catastrophising — naming it starts to take some of the power away
- coming back to NOW — what is actually happening in this moment, usually things are ok right at this moment
- balance out the thoughts — instead of what if it goes wrong? also ask what if it goes right? What if it’s fine? What if I handle it better than I expect?
- check in with the physical feelings — slow down the breath, feel the feet in contact with the ground,
consciously drop the shoulders — the body can help bring the mind back.
Movement can be incredibly helpful to bring the mind back, so if you find yourself not able to go to sleep because of these thoughts spiralling, then get up and take yourself to a different space and find something to take your mind away from these thoughts. Read a book or perhaps listen to a book. I tune into BBC Sounds Soul Music which I find very soothing, and often this can be enough to
quieten the noise.
This week, if you notice your mind running ahead with these thoughts, ask yourself:
- what am I imagining right now?
- is this a fact or a fear?
- what is actually true in this moment?
And perhaps most importantly:
- if things don’t go perfectly, will I still be able to cope?
Because more often than not… you will.
So I wish you a good
week — keep looking, moving, and feeling good.
With love and support,
Jane xxx
