Have you ever noticed how a comment from years ago can still sit in your head and occasionally pop up into your thoughts?
It could be something said in passing, a judgement made at a moment in time, a label that you feel has stuck. For example: you’re not academic; I don’t think that’s for you; you’re not ready for that.
You may feel like you have moved on, but there could be a small part of you that still carries it.
Unfortunately, they are usually someone else’s words from when we are younger or in vulnerable moments, so we take them on board and they become our beliefs. Not because they are true but because they have been said with confidence or authority.
They may have been said to you at a time when you were still trying to build your own confidence and wondering
what you were going to do. Once when I was just 16 I was told by a school teacher that I was not clever enough to do ‘A’ levels — this stuck with me for a long time, and it did become an internal belief I carried about myself. Of course, I proved the teacher wrong, but that doesn't eliminate the comment from my head. Even now when I am looking at studying, there is still a part of my mind which says those words I don’t think I’m clever enough to do this. We stop before we get
started.
The problem with this is that these limitations aren’t real for this current time: they are carried forward from a time that may no longer be relevant, if in fact it ever was. But they can shape us with the opportunities we go for, the risks we do or don’t take, the way we see ourselves and the decisions we make — all based on something that may have been said years ago.
The question is do we accept them, or challenge them? There isn’t a right
answer. Some of us can feel motivated to prove these labels wrong, some of us might simply start to question whether the beliefs we carry are still relevant. The important thing here is to recognise that we grow, we learn, we change, and we develop, in ways no one could have predicted.
We don’t necessarily have to fight those old limitations, but we can begin to notice them and remember that they are old beliefs, thinking about where they came from, and asking if they
are helping or holding you back. Simply being aware of this will create a space where we get to choose differently.
Wellbeing can be affected by carrying these limiting beliefs. They can trap us into staying small, hesitating, and holding back. So if we can learn to loosen them we can then start to grow confidence, and then possibilities start to open up. If we learn to let go of these limiting beliefs we start to feel in control of the choices we make. There’s a lightness in
realising that we don’t have to carry everything we were once told.
Limitation can affect mind and body, we can believe that we were never very good at sport, so we start by thinking I can’t do that; I’m not flexible; I’m not strong enough. But with time, patience and the right support, things can change. We can build strength, we can move more freely, confidence grows steadily, and often the body gets rid of those limitations before the
mind.
Have a think this week about any belief you hold about yourself that may have come from someone else. Then ask is it still true, or have I just carried it forward? What can I do to challenge that limitation this week? Not because you have to prove anything to anyone else, but just to see what is possible for YOU. Because often the biggest limitations in our lives are the ones we didn’t even realise we were still holding onto.
Have a good
week everyone — keep looking, moving, and feeling good … because, believe me, you can!
With love and support,
Jane xxx
