This week I’ve been thinking about pride, mainly because I had a bit of a wobble with mine.
What I mean by pride is not the loud, shout it from the rooftops kind, but the quieter version, the sort that sits gently underneath how we live our lives, the self-pride, the pride we might take in our work, in our appearance, or in doing things
that mean a lot to us. It’s about the things we know about ourselves, standards that we hold, and the little nods of knowing that’s who I am.
Some of the things that spring to mind when I think about pride, is being reliable, kind, organised, thoughtful, remembering birthdays, showing up and being the one person people can count on. I am sure you will have others of your own you can add to this list. We don’t always say these things out loud, but they might matter
deeply to us, but then every now and again, we wobble, and this week I had one of those moments.
As I pointed out above, I forgot to cancel a class. People turned up and I sat at home thinking about what I was doing that day, completely oblivious, until Mary phoned to say people had been contacting her to see if she was ok as she wasn’t at the venue. The realisation that I had completely let down things I pride myself on: communication, and looking after the JTP
family.
I felt a real mix of emotions — disappointment, frustration, and if I’m honest, a little sadness too. Not just because of the mistake itself, but because I take such pride in looking after my clients, in communicating well, in making sure everyone feels informed and cared for. It’s something that has always mattered deeply to me, and so when I didn’t live up to that, it really made me stop in my tracks. Sometimes it’s not the big things that shake us… it’s the small
moments where we feel we’ve fallen short of who we believe we are. I was cross with myself, and so I am in a place where I am gently reminding myself of the fact that one moment does not undo who I am.
I wonder if you have ever felt the same? When you don’t quite live up to your own expectations — not anyone else’s — but your own.
The very reason it feels uncomfortable is precisely because it isn’t who you are: because if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel
it. That feeling of frustration or disappointment is a sign of your values, your beliefs. But when we stay stuck in that feeling we don’t help ourselves, what matters more than never getting things wrong, is what we do next. Acknowledge it, take responsibility, put things right where we can, then this helps us soften. It doesn’t mean we brush it off, or ignore it, but we should allow ourselves a little space to be human, because the version of you that is kind, reliable, thoughtful, hasn’t
disappeared. It’s just had an off day.
If anything, when this happens, it deepens our awareness, our empathy and our connection with others, reminding us that everyone else is human too. So this week instead of aiming for perfection, I will be leaning into something a little more realistic, being consistent matters but coupled with compassion. Holding onto the things that we are proud of is good, and allowing room for the occasional wobble is even better because
that is where real life happens and that is where we grow. If we can achieve this then that is something to be proud of, when we adjust, we learn, and we move forward, not perfectly but consistently.
Have a good week everyone — keep looking, moving, and feeling good.
With love and support,
Jane xxx
