This week I was reminded about how powerful words can be and the affect they can have on how we feel.
Sometimes the slightest criticism can completely immobilise us. It can make us feel defensive and as if we are suddenly in battle having to pull up the drawbridge to our
emotional state.
The truth of it is that criticism is nothing more than someone else’s observation about us, our actions or the way we think about something. And their observation very rarely matches the vision we have of ourselves or what we are trying to do.
It can be an enormous drain on our mental energy trying to defend ourselves as we react to criticism. So here is a plan … why not agree?
Now I am not
suggesting that you should suddenly start to accept all the negativity that comes in your direction, but just occasionally by simply agreeing, not only can it diffuse a situation which could become uncomfortable, it could also help you to let it go and watch it disappear.
So next time my son tells me I talk too much, instead of me getting defensive and start saying “I have to talk a lot for anyone in this house to take any notice of me …” which is my standard
response! I am going to say “you know, you are right, sometimes I do talk too much” and then I will walk away.
Reacting and becoming defensive never makes the criticism go away, it can simply convince the person doing the criticising that they are right and they may keep coming back for more!!!
Agree and then watch it go away!