The title of this week’s newsletter is LOST … the reason is because I have spent most of the last week feeling lost.
When Keith was rushed into hospital in an ambulance, it felt a little ‘deja vu’ because of our experiences last year. But because I wasn’t able to go with him, I spent most of the day waiting to hear and I felt a little lost … I tried to get jobs done but without enthusiasm and my mind was wandering all over the place and I spent the whole day trying to stop
that happening.
The next day I had to travel to the hospital, Derby hospital - which I haven’t really been to in the past, maybe a long time ago. So I was a bit nervous, set up my sat nav … but for some reason I didn’t trust it and got lost on the way there. Once parked, I got lost in the hospital. Once I had visited, making my way back to the car, I got lost. On my journey
home, I tried to take a different route and I got lost. When I eventually got home, again I felt emotionally lost.
I was literally and figuratively lost and that is how I felt.
My anxiety was peaking and when this happens it is really important to have something to ‘hang your hat on’ something that will ground you, allow you to focus, and breathe. My online Pilates classes did that for me last week. Timetabled, part of my routine, I knew where I was going, how to get there, and what I was doing. Not only stabilising my body
physically, but providing stability in my life.
By Wednesday I was finding my way to hospital, finding Keith, and although he is still in hospital and there is uncertainty, that feeling of being lost is becoming smaller.
If everything around you feels a bit chaotic at the moment, find what grounds you, find your stability, find the one thing that you know you have control of in your present state, and grab it by the lapels …. it will help you.
